I did a post last week on reasons why it’s hard for us, as celebrants, to say ‘No’ to requests (.https://celebrantglynbawden.com/5-reasons-why-its-hard-for-us-to-say-no/) . The conclusion was probably that, even though we feel obliged to say ‘yes’ for all those reasons, we really should try and say ‘no’ more.
Let’s take a look at why saying ‘no’ is not just a good thing, it’s an essential thing for our long-term well-being.
Emotionally draining
As funeral celebrants we deal with people when they are often at their most emotional and vulnerable. They have just lost a loved one and are putting their faith into you to deliver a meaningful and heartfelt eulogy after only a handful of meetings at best.
It’s not possible, unless you’re made of stone, to avoid investing some of your own emotional energy into each service.
Our emotions are not a bottomless pit. Just as you’ll become physically exhausted if you exercise too much, you will become emotionally exhausted if you expend too much emotion. And it will come to a head eventually.
Quality will suffer
We get one chance to do what we do. One chance to stand in front of a grieving family and give a well-structured, well-written eulogy in memory of a loved one.
If we take on too much, we run a very real risk of the quality of our work being diluted or rushed as we try to prioritise. It’s like juggling. Throwing and catching one ball is easy. Even two, not a problem. Some of us may even be able to do three, but start getting to four and five then you’ll soon see how hard it is to keep up.
Keep your workload manageable and the quality will be maintained.
You neglect other parts of your life
Our lives are complex and complicated things. They are made up of many different areas. And for them to be successful, we need each of the areas to be running in harmony.
Of course, work is important. That’s what puts the food on the table and pays the bills but for a well-balanced approach, you need to pay equal attention to the other parts of your life.
Your family and their happiness is vital to maintain your own well-being. Take your partner and your children to the cinema or out for a meal. You need time for hobbies, even if your hobby is just catching up with the latest on Netflix, set aside some time to do it.
Self esteem
Saying ‘no’ is good for you. Yes, you read that right. How many times have you said ‘yes’ to something only to go away and curse yourself for giving in again and asking ‘Why did I say yes?’
Say ‘no’ once in a while. Take back some control of your life and you’ll feel better about yourself. That simple act will tell everyone, including yourself that YOU are in control and YOU are the one making the decisions.
Reduce Stress
Once you’re back in control of what’s going on in your life then a whole host of other good things start to happen. You’ll be less stressed for one and that’s got to be a good thing.
You can concentrate on doing the work that you have to the best of your ability, investing the time and emotional input that is needed without neglecting other areas.
You may find that you’ll be sleeping better, your appetite will be better and you’ll be healthier all round.
There’s is no doubt that saying no more often will benefit you in the short term and the long term. You’ll have more time to do what matters to you, so give it a go, say ‘NO’.