The COVID19 pandemic and subsequent lockdown have led to us face losses on an unimaginable scale, and it’s not just our loved ones we are grieving for.
Grief is defined as ‘a feeling of intense sorrow due to the loss of someone or something’. Obviously, the intensity of that feeling depends on the closeness of who or what was lost and the impact it will have on your life as you move forward.
The current pandemic has led us to a situation where we are having to contemplate a multiplicity of losses in every area of our lives.
Types of loss
Loss of a family member or loved one
Death is by far the most common cause of grief but the pandemic has added an extra layer of problems to the grieving process. It may be that the loved one died in isolation, either chosen or enforced and not surrounded by family. The death may have been traumatic as a result of COVID19 or unexpected for the same reason.
Once the death has occurred, then the surviving family is left to deal with the arrangement, often remotely, without the physical support or contact that is essential for comfort at such stressful times. The funeral service itself adds another layer of stress as families are forced to grieve socially distanced or in isolation, without being able to comfort one another.
Loss of job or income
Despite Chancellor Rishi Sunak’s hastily put together support package through the furlough scheme that has saved people in the short term, it was never intended to be a long-term solution and now companies are starting to feel the impact as we have seen some surprisingly robust high street names seek help or go out of business completely; Cath Kidston, Victoria’s Secret, Monsoon, Oasis, Carluccio’s, Laura Ashley and Prezzo to name just a few.
Employees are now sensing a real fear of redundancy or unemployment as companies come to terms with life after lockdown.
In addition to this, there is also the physical sense of loss that one might feel at not actually going in to a place of work, meeting colleagues and losing that daily ritual.
Loss of relationships
Being forced together day after day for months, will have put immense strain on some relationships, where a couple are not used to being together for such long periods. In addition, there have been documented, and understandable concerns over people who find themselves living 24/7 with an abusive partner.
There is also the opposite, where a relationship may have just begun prior to lockdown and hasn’t had the chance to progress in a normal way and may never recover.
One of the biggest sources of strain however, must surely be for families of NHS and other front line workers who chose to self-isolate away from their own families to take care of COVID19 patients. This type of loss can be likened to that felt by families of soldiers departing for war. When a loved one says goodbye, there is a very real chance that this may be the last time you’ll see them.
Loss of events
While we have endured lockdown as well as we possibly can, time has still marched on and birthdays have come and gone, holiday dates, weddings may have been cancelled. All of these may well have involved a lot of planning and spending money on deposits. The stress of loss has been subsequently exacerbated by holiday companies being vague about if and when repayments will be made.
Loss of small pleasures
How many times during the lockdown have you almost suggested popping to the pub on a Friday, or going to a favourite restaurant for a meal?
Plenty, I’m sure.
But the lockdown has effectively stripped us of that freedom to choose what we do and taken away the small pleasures that we took for granted.
Loss of personal space
Before lockdown our lives were demarcated into separate compartments. We left the house to go to work or to the gym, now the boundaries between these areas has become blurred. Your spare room or bedroom may have become your office, your lounge may double up as a gym space. All of this adds to the stress of coping with the day to day impact of the virus.
There is no doubt that the multiplicity of losses we have had to endure has been unprecedented. And whilst we seem to be reaching the end of lockdown in many countries, we should prepare ourselves for the backlash, not of a second wave, but of serious mental health issues for large portions of the population as they try and come to terms with the sheer scale of what has been lost.